The Un-importance of Hello Kitty

"I know Hello Kitty has no role in The Cause."
-Maryam Brooks

Thanksgiving Day Family Photo

"When I took group picture, your face looked like Muppet."
-Persian family member who shall remain nameless (not my dad).

New Moon

"I saw New Moon. It was horrible. And I really don't understand why their is a debate [between Jacob and Edward.] Jacob seems the clear choice, seriously. If I had a daughter I'd be much happier if she were team jacob."
-DD

Old school business time

"Dude, I'm pretty sure my mom was a skank."
-Anonymous

Johnny Utah

"I'm very glad to know Johnny Utah is stumbling home drunk."

-Aaron Yates

Concerning

"I think my upper lip is overheating."

-D. Ray

Such is life...

"Most of the time good people are lame and fun people are naughty."

-RTJ

That's jacked up

"Guess who got jacked up from the back, on his way to Boston?"

-Jeff C.

Vegas Security?

"There was nothing secure about him except his codpiece"

-Juliet

Groceries? What's That?

"You are lucky. Since you work at Google, groceries are funny."

-Justin P.

Latest Tweet

"I think a prostitute is following me on Twitter."

-Sherry joon

I Saw the Sign

"No, I'm not asleep. Just looking up Ace of Base lyrics."

-RTJ

Just One of Them Days

"ok so maybe i'm not young. Maybe i'm just sheltered, or white."

-J.Moser

Life in AdWords

"I want to make sweet sweet money with you. But no cuddling after."

-Christina A.

Company Love

"What would your expectations be for 'love'?"

-Company meeting

Bull Crap

"She's not actually eating bull crap...just so you know."

-Bill Tickner

Google Continues to Amaze

"Google is so big. It's like a dinosaur."

-Dr. Wayne

"Don't be an old Persian woman."

-Christina Chang

Disco Disco!

"You wouldn't happen to have the tools to hang a disco ball, would you?"

-Bill Tickner